so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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