Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
