Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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