His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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