I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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