weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
