I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
