this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no, he came in my armpit
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
