oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
