We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
