Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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