I think scott just propositioned me for sex
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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