I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Boobs are out for the taking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
