they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
