you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just invented taco cereal.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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