You're a womanizer and a bitch.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize