can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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