"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
