My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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