You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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