He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
