If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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