go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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