U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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