a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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