You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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