You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
