i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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