respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
