yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
