Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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