I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize