dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
