Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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