I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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