Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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