Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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