I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
