Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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