I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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