I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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