He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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