i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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