First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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