Me. At least after what I've been through.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
