I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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