think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
