i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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