So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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