I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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