tell your sister to shave her snatch
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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