Duck Duck Cougar?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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