Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
