laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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