All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
