just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
