If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize