If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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