Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
